..iTs "L"..

hello people.

Hey.

I am feeling being left again. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I felt this way but for sure it is the same feeling all over again. The feeling when people started to leave you, head for their destination while you don’t even know where or how to begin with. All you have is emptiness filling the big hole in your heart. On the day my friends began their new journey in life at UM, I was rushing from kemaman to kuala Terengganu with my mum on a bus. Last Thursday I called yayasan Terengganu to keep updates with the information whether they already sent out the letters to inform about the interview and stuff and the answer I got was totally unexpected and it freaked the hell out of me.










“We have already sent all the letters for those candidates long time ago and I afraid today is the last day of the interview. We invited few outside professors to conduct the interview and their last schedule was this afternoon.”





“..(speechless)..is that mean..i didn’t get to be interviewed?”





So the lady on the phone asked me what did I got for my SPM result and what kind of program did I applied for and I told her the truth. I was hoping to be in A-level program but I was not qualified enough to apply for it(they wanted a solid 8A+ for the A level program, damn I should have one more A+) so whats left for me to apply was for program berkembar(twinning program) and I did.






She apologized to me and said maybe its not my “rezeki” to be there and stuff and I was still speechless to death when my mum took over the phone and raged, when my mum was raging, you’ll think 1000 times before you want to make a mess with her. I was disappointed and no longer interested to hear the conversation so I left.







“I used to rejection.” I told myself over and over again.






Then a few minutes later when I was about to let the thing off my mind my phone rang again and it was the call from YT! I answered and guess what the shocking news, I was told to come at Yayasan Terengganu Headquarter and get ready for the IQ test! I don't have any ideas on how my mum did it.(forgot to tell you there were 2 stage here in yt scholarship, the first one was an IQ test and then you would go for the group interview)
 





“what time should I be there?”




“You can come at anytime on that day.”





A little weird there. At any time? Maybe it made sense, I was the last one so maybe they were being a little bit loose here. Is there an interview for me? I didn’t think so because the professors were going home by the time I reached there. So yea, when Sunday came I was preparing my stuff before I went to YTHQ while my others friends were busy making another new history in their life at UM, including my piano friend. Took a bus at 8 with my mum besides me and we went straight away to Kuala Terengganu and reached by 11.30 a.m.










It was kinda big building, the headquarter. And by the time we set our foot in the Sponsorship Department there were hundreds of people in there, in that tiny room, and I couldn’t agree more it was packed like a sardine can, people were so crowded that I didn’t even have the chance to ask the people at the counter. Big decision time, my mum broke into staff room and informed them about me and looked what did we got.






“Why did you come so late I thought you rejected the offer, the last interview session was at 12.00.”they said.






To make things easy they were not so happy to see us coming late but they were totally forgot the one who said “any time” was them, not me or my mother. I was rushed to do my iq test and 2 essays and wait to be interviewed. It supposed to be a group interview of four but there was not enough people as we only have 2, me and 1 more friend I barely knew. I was about to start my essay and that lady called me to get ready for interview.




I am not gonna talk about the interview, cause I am tired of writing this and I want to end the story quick. Done with the interview I continued with my essays and that was it. There were pretty much more to tell about it, but it just..just sucks..i cant write too long cause it freaking hurt my eyes. Better stop now.











From,
Mr. Leftover.

hey!

I have never been more interested to music than now. Never pop up in mind that someday I will be holding a guitar or piano, playing the instruments alone in my room trying to feel the music itself. And till today, still, I don’t own any guitar or piano just yet but I am planning to. And all the credits should go to this one friend of mine, lets just called this friend, hmmm, “Sunny” and it’s a girl.








I knew being able to play any of musical instruments, for example guitar, violin or whatever it is will be considered as SUPER COOL but the thought just disappear sometimes. I watched one man played piano on the stage of my school performing in front of hundreds of students and I admitted I couldn’t agree more, its super awesome I could tell ya that. Even it was me, a standing boy by the side of hall, melted for the GUY when he played it can you believed that! I wondered how the girls were feeling at that particular time. The man with music somehow has its own aura, a special aura that lived when a soul combine with the heart of the music, he could attract many people to come around and listened to his music. THAT IS TOTALLY COOL.





But soon after that, soon after the performance was over, I slowly forget about the aura thing and all I do care about music is having a good songs in my mp3, dance song, love song, maher zain, kpop and everything. But when I became friends with Sunny she was like, bringing back the aura things to me and it is now stuck right in my mind that I think I will never forget about it anymore. Or even if I will it would take years to totally forget about it. She kept on giving me the messages that music is just not about listening to songs which have unique melody but the making of it, to produce the music ourselves, from our tiny fingers and yea it is something.









She went to piano class so she did tell me a little bit about what she learnt and stuff like that and I was very interested to know about it. Step by step she brought me a little closer to music, from videos of man playing piano that she gave to me I finally see music in a new perspective that I never know before. It is cool. Seriously. And now when I have nothing to do I got this idea of, “Why don’t I try to play piano online? so far I don’t have a real piano yet so why not?”. So yea I am currently playing piano online and I am practicing the yiruma kiss the rain song! So thanks to Sunny for exposing me for something new.

Hey!



Listening to what happened to my friend’s brother made me uneasy, “Am I having the same thing? Am I having dengue fever?!”. As you can see, my friend’s brother was admitted to the hospital for a few days due to dengue fever. So I was kinda worried about it when I was looking my whole body full of red dots! I tried to contact that friend of mine to make sure about it because she might have more knowledge than me.

But when I thought twice, naah, its just gonna trouble her more so I winded up searching in the google. Beginning with dengue fever images, I saw a lot of red dots at one’s body and that was totally a clear symptom that you got dengue fever but compared to mine, my red dots were still couldn’t be considered as “a lot”.




I looked carefully on my red dots, to make sure if it did looked the same as the dengue one and hell yea it looked almost the same!



“That’s it, I am going to spend my night today in the hospital”. Damn I hate needles!








So I told my parents about this and they were kinda worried as well so they brought me to the clinic. I have seen my doctor and you know what he said to me about this.




“Do you ever have chicken pox before?”
“No sir, I don’t.”
“Then this will be your first.”




Whatttttttt. Hahahaha. I was kinda relieve to know that I didn’t have dengue but chicken pox??Damn it!now my body is itching like hell I always have to put cream on my body. You know what, sometimes I do wish that chicken pox attack me when I was a little kid because by that, I literally will get 3 benefits.




Firstly I would not remember the pain because I was too little, second the scars left might be totally heal by my age now, and third I would never ever have to worry again about having chicken pox during my teens life. But well, maybe theres one good thing it happened now because I am going to uitm this 2nd june so..what happen if this chicken pox got me when I am in there?ouh yea much more trouble some.


Well. That’s all for now. Pray for me to get better soon!hate this itching. Urghhhhh .








From,
Chiken Pox boy

hey!




Its time to write and thanks to my friend for bringing this up so that I have the idea to write something in this blog. lets straight to the point, a few days ago I went to the jpj test for bike and yea..they said I must be there by 7.45 in the morning to enroll all that stuff.( I know its freaking early right?! Damn it)

Guys, this was my first mistake that you must never do in life if you’re a first timer for JPJ test, why did I said that? When you are coming for your JPJ test for the first time, literally means that you are not doing a retest for JPJ, so in this case they actually prioritizing the one who are doing the retest first instead of you but if you are insisting on coming early then its up to you. But let me finish my story so I went there quite early, did as what they told me, which later then it become one of my biggest stupid mistake in life.




Its still early, and I just saw a few people like 8 or 10 person queuing up to enroll at the front counter so I get into the line, quite proud of myself for setting my foot here early.LOL! So in my mind I was thinking “this going to be fast” and smiled alone and when it came to my turn to enroll I handed them my IC and lessen L. In turn I received my number and forgod sake its 52! I came here to be the top 10 person now I got 52! And that’s why u shouldn’t come early if your first timer and YOU KNOW WHY, COZ THEY GOTTA THE FREAKING LIST NAME AND YOU COULNDT CHANGE IT. If you get an early number then its your total luck but in most cases you don’t! if you get 60 then it will be 60 no matter you come there early or not!







Ouh. Ouh. Another one fun thing you guys must know is that my number which was 52 and try to guess what time will it be for my showtime. Come on guys you know the math. Okay fine! I ll just tell you the answer. Came at 7.45 in the moning, and exactly at 12.15 in the afternoon, finally they called my name. Nervous? You are asking me whether I am nervous? Hmmmm.well hate to admit it I did felt a little nervous when I first showed up at the place but you know what the best thing about this, it eventually gone because 4 HOUR and 30 MINUTES of waiting totally killed it.




I get on the bike and I all I could think was, I would gonna end this, once and for all, it was burning like hell now, my shirt was all wet, I just gotta end this quick. So I rode the bike through all the lap, making the hand signals and everything then boom! Done! Went to check my result and Boom! I FAILED THE THIRD PART? How did it happen, I think I followed  all the rule, always be on the left side of the road but why? I looked the at the result paper and tried to see which things I failed to do so?




1. Gagal memberi isyarat.
“what?! I think I just did as what I learnt. Okay. Maybe I slipped somewhere and just not realized it.




2. Gagal memandu di bahagian kiri jalan
“the hell?!i was very becareful about this. Seriously this couldn’t be accepted.





3 Melanggar benteng jalan
“this is making me soooo maddd are you blind or something. I am the one who ride the bike and so far I noticed I hit nothing!”*seriously guys. I really mad at the jpj. How could he accuse me for something I didnt do.




If there were only 2 mistakes I would have pass that JPJ test. But as you can see, there are 3. To my “best JPJ” I wish you could drop that black glasses of yours that you think you would looked much cooler and see WITH YOUR OWN BARE EYES NEXT TIME. Maybe I wasn’t lucky that day but if the same things happen to everybody else after me or before me, God know what else would happen to you. God please give your guidance to this man.







For your information readers, when I looked at the list about ten people before and after me, they all failed at the same thing, the third part, when I asked them which one did they do wrong, its just almost the same case like mine.








From,
Failed Boy.

heyyo!





I think the pill I swallowed just now stuck in my throat. Damn!it makes me feel uncomfortable. Till I write this the pill is still there. I already ate few pieces of bread to take it down but it seemed like they missed it. Its still there. Even the water cant help much. Damn I need to get some more bread, or something bigger, maybe one medium ball of rice will do. Wait here.



*going to the kitchen to take some rice.



Okay I just ate one medium size ball of rice. But you know what. Screw this! Even though I did compacted the rice so it shaped more a like a ball so it would be much harder and not easily broke when I swallowed it later on. I think I just chewed it too much that the hard ball of rice turned back to only ‘rice’. Damn it. Lets just wait for a few more minutes then.




Okay what I wanna tell you guys tonight is that, things turned out to be better for the pass few days. I mean, thanks a lot to everyone who prayed to God that I would have the opportunity to go to mara interview because I really did. I really appreciated it guys, thanks a lot. At least I am a little bit relieved now. Mara did called me for an interview last 13th may at Mrsm Kuala Terengganu so yea. I believed it went well even though there were a few slightly mistakes happened here and there during the interview but overall I think they were just fine.

Now I feel like sharing my interview experience. Because if I hold this too long, i might not have the same mood to write about this again. So let it be now. Before the interview day, I did some research about how the Mara interview was like there were many version of it! Some said they need to build some bridge made of spaghetti, some said there will be one on one interview, some said they would give you a situation and you have to deal with it, so much story of this mystery of mara interview. Well luckily 13th may is not the first day when mara decided to begin their hunt. So with the help from my friends who went to the interview 2 days earlier than me, I finally got the picture of it, the picture on how it would be on the interview day.








But still, I did some other preparation as well considered that IF mara suddenly changed its style so I might have think about that. Luckily they didn’t. They stick to its style, which was, you were given a task or situation, discuss within your group, get the final decision and done. That’s all so guys out there who will be going to the mara interview this year or the next, you really don’t have to freak out. Ouh not to forget, there will some questioning session after the group discussion but not to everybody, it depends.



So my group was given this task:

(I cant remember the exact sentences to describe it, but I am pretty sure it went just like this)






“you are the only doctor on call. Totally alone. And then suddenly there were 2 patients came to you that require immediate treatment. One is young, smart college kid who lost his father, so he is the one who taking care of his family  and the other one is and old business man who contributed a lot to the country, which on would you give treatment first?”




Something like that. Ouh forget to mention that my group consist of 8 people, 1 girl 7 boys, we had to form 2 group and each one must represent either the old man or the young boy. So I was in the old man group. Guys, the moment you walked into the interview room, the only thing you will leave outside is your heart, and this literally means that your entering the room heartless. Only your body will get into the room Why did I said that? Because you will be freaking nervous like hell that your heart beat so fast that that it would ran away from you, leaving you in the room with only you body and mind.XDD







Okay back to the story. So I was reading the question and before I could finished reading it the opposition already start firing their bullet like hell. So I didn’t finish reading it and began to counter attack!it was tensed! Its hard to defend this old man because he was old, and there so many weakness in him that the opposition could talk about. Luckily I did prepared some points but its not enough. They kept on saying the young man would have so much potential in life, and he could contribute more to the country and bla bla bla.




Our only stand is the old man have a lot of experience that if he if die, it would be a great loss to the country so my teammates and I kept on playing on the point with different version. I started to give crap metaphor (because forgod sake I didn’t have much ideas that time) like “there were two plants, one was still young ,just beginning to grow up, and the other one was a tall plant, with a strong base, if you would be given a choice to save one of them, which one do you prefer?” which mean that the future of young plant is uncertain, it might be destroyed when heavy storm or rain hits it, so why did we need to save something you are not sure of? I knew this point have so many weakness but yet, not much choices I have that time.




So we were like debating for 30 minutes, I gave my points they give theirs and when the time up, no final decision was made yet. So in the end I took a step back and end up betraying my own teammates, sorry guys, but we need a decision that time so if no one would cut loose, we aint gonna move. So yea, in the end I ended up pointing my own machine gun to my teammates. Then we moved on.







The panels started to ask questions and mostly they were targeting those who didn’t have much chance to speak during the discussion. The questions was like, “Do you think you’re a leader within that discussion just now?”. Another 2 or 3 questions and we were all done. The interview was over and its time to ask some killing questions to them. (I really like this session because there were so many things I don’t know about mara so here’s my shot!XDD).



1. “How do you evaluate us through the discussion? I have been in a lot of interviews before and mostly they did one on one interview where they gonna dig all information about us, wanna know how passionate or whether you truly deserve the scholarship. What kind of qualities you are looking at?”
(seriously guys my question is much more simpler than this, this one is over exaggerated)



So the one of the panel hit me back, “You think?”




I smiled. Ofcourse there was more of that story after that but I am now too lazy too write. Well, always half finished. But who cares, its my blog.XDD. really sorry guys because I really am tired writing this. Till the next time arios amigos!












From,
Choked interview candidate

Today, I couldn’t sleep in the evening like I used to. My daily routine is when I finish my luch you will found me lying on the bed the next 5 minutes. People said, no its not the people, the facts said when we eat carbohydrate in a large amount(especially rice), we tend to get slow and sleepy. From Biology form 5 textbook I think. Or maybe form 4 but you know what, who cares as long as the fact is proven.

So I used this theory to get me sleep faster in the evening. I took a bout 2 plates of rice during my lunch every single day and I considered that is “really huge” amount of carbohydrates in its contents so yea, when my stomach full, I crawled to my bed, took my sleeping drug(my sleeping drug is book, stared at it for 10 minutes, later on its going to be the book who “read” me) and get ready to go to the dream world.






But today the theory didn’t worked on me. I couldn’t sleep in the evening, I was reading a book to get me sleepy but it just didn’t work. I even almost finished the book and yet I am still awake. Still in the real world and not the dream world.



And finally I knew the reason why. My heart and mind couldn’t stop thinking about MARA result. Instead I got my UPU result today. Lucky enough I got my first choice in the my list, asasi kjuruteraan at uitm. That’s made me relieve a little bit.



And till the time I am writing this, I am still waiting for the result from mara. They said it would come out today but it seemed like zaty was right, maybe mara has its own “timezone” which is totally different to our time here in Malaysia.LOL!



Please don’t be mad if the post is all mashup..because I don’t even know what am I typing right here. I don’t even know what its all about. Just another expression of my feelings right now. Confused. Unsecured. God knows what else.

Now I can finally start writing again. Why didn’t I write before? Hahaha. Maybe because I just don’t feel the need to and I don’t have anything to write about(lying, you always have something to crap, you don’t need ‘something’ because you always have ‘a thing’ to say so just admit you are lazy bump ass lokman!) and plus, recently my writing mood just flew away and now its coming back to me. So today at facebook people are talking about the upu thing. Um has finally sent its offer to the qualified people and the sad thing is I didn’t apply for UM in upu choice.

Well, I don’t know why but I didn’t apply. Maybe on that particular time there is no “asasi kejuruteraan mekanikal” choice for UM so I didn’t click it. And now I found out that most people who got  the offer choose “asasi sains fizikal” if I am not mistaken for their option and still, they could take a degree in mechanical engineering! How couldn’t I noticed that before!

Asasi kejuruteraan mekanikal--> degree in mechanical engineering
Asasi sains fizikal                  --> degree in mechanichal engineering

Well I hate to feel unsecure. The scholarship didn’t give a call and the only options left for me are MARA, UPU, and matriks.

MARA is coming out tomorrow and please!i am praying to God please let me pass to the interview.

Upu?well still no offer so far.

Matriks? I don’t know. People said even though your genius like hell and score 5.0. you ‘ll have problems with the courses offered. But it seems like my parents are saying ‘yes’ for this matriks. Well, maybe I should give a try…or maybe I just..wait for the upu thing first.

__________________________________________________________________________________

My ‘rocketplane’ didn’t fly today. It has been so much trial after trial but still it ended up flying back to the ground. The first rocketplane I made a week before was a failure. A little bit wrong with the strings cause the sticks to break into half.




That’s why I made rocketplane2 with more precise calculation and with better strings. But in the end the result was just the same. Its not the wind fault or the string this. What the hell was wrong with my rocketplane 2?! Pheww..hard to say..it kept on rotating in the air when I fly him out. Balancing? I weighed it and yeah it was balanced.

Perhaps it was the surface area. Maybe it was insufficient to put a great pressure on it so it could fly straight to sky.

And now my dad and I are making rocketplane3. It is 3 times bigger than the previous one and I hope this one will fly!










from,
unsecured rocketplane fighter

A happy reunion today! Although some of sovereignians were not there but still, atleast I have the time to see few of my friends, for the last time. There is no more school events for us now. Today was the last and I hope there will be another chance for me to see you guys, maybe in the next 5 years or..10 years who know right? You know why, cause thanx to God I am not DEAD yet so I assume that I will still have the opportunity to see you guys.again. Lets hope so.

Didn’t take any pictures for today. Guess I was too excited back then. And for my friend who got to attend the telekom educamp tomorrow! Best of luck boy! I know you can do it. Just be yourself because people like you the way you are. I told you the tips right, so be prepared, and yeah, just rock the camp will ya!

Man I am tired.








From,
Man who is tired.

 

One of the sickest day ever. Not physically but mentally. Its always make me feel safe by having the thought that somehow if I don’t secure any of the private scholarship, mara is always by my side to back me up. But today mara was like, running away from me. You guys knew that I was in kl for a few weeks and in that particular weeks mara also had opened its application so boom, Thousands of people from all over Malaysia began their run, including me.



What made me a little bit different from the others was that, I was not at home when I applied for mara. When I said I was not at home it literally mean that I didn’t bring any of important documents, because documents should be kept at home, you didt carry around your sijil kelahiran everywhere you go didn’t you? To be surprise. I did brought my important documents. Ya know I had to attend the tnb education camp so in case if they need any of these, I ll be prepared, so I did brought them.



“So what  the hell is your problem with mara if you bring everything?”



That’s the problem. I didn’t bring EVERYTHING. Mara in its application form required my mum and dad’s sijil kelahiran so I didn’t have them. I NEVER THOUGHT THEY GONNA NEED MY MUM AND DAD’S SIJIL KELAHIRAN. I just brought mine. This is the first scholarship application that need something like this. What they want,that’s I wanna give. But I just came home yesterday and today I call mara to inform my situation. Oh forgot to tell that I just sent my application form by hand yesterday.WITHOUT THAT 2 DOCUMENTS.



So one guy from mara told me that my application may be rejected because it was not completed and that freak the hell out of me. How can I send them right away before the dateline which is tomorrow? Thats the first question I asked him. He told me to fax them but still, he said he couldn’t guarantee that the documents would be attached back to my application form because there were thousands of them and ofcourse they didn’t to waste their time just to look for mine in the huge mountain pile of application forms.



 So yea I was freak out. If mara don’t offer me I got nobody else. Guys if you were reading this. Please pray for me that mara will accept my fax and attached them back where they should be. ALLAH please help me.






from,
Somebody who pray to GOD so that miracle could happen.

Hello guys! I am back! When I say “I am back”, it literally means I am home. Its been like 2 or 3 weeks I have been in KL for some reasons. Wait let me do the math, okay I went to KL exactly on 5th april and today is 23rd so..(thinking and continue to think…naah I just need to get my calculator.XDD). It was 18 days!wow..thats long enough to kill the time.



Okay lets start with the question, “eh kenapa kau lama sangat kau duduk KL nih?kau tade keje eh.” Okay guys I know that there will be no one reading this post because its like talking to my self so I didn’t give a damn about what I want to say here (when I say “guys”, it means me, I, myself, lokman, L, and all the other stuff of me.XDD.its crap right.i know)



So yeah lets start the story. I went to tnb education camp at uniten kajang which started on 6th of april and 8.00 pagi dh kene daftar(so freaking early man) so I need to get there a day earlier. Stop by joe’s house and stayed there for one night before her mum sent me to uniten the next day. Btw thanx a lot joe your mum and dad rock!seriously. I like them a lot. We didn’t do much activities together because it was late when I reached his house but still, we have movienight in joe’s room. (and he had a guitar which was superawesome!). So the next time I knew I was already at the educamp.



Enrolling times. There were like hundreds of them waiting in the hall, queing up for room keys and all that boring stuff. Everyone seemed like “extremely” want to make friends with everyone as 1 second later you’ll find a guy extending his hands for a shake. And the most common typical sentence they used, “(nama diaorg), kau? Ak asal dari _______.”, nice one. I played along with it. No harm right. Its just making friends. Who care if you were Chinese, or Indians or Siamese, or you frequently prefer to use English in your conversation, I ll go talk and made friend. No big deal. So yeah we were all in this big hall, playing kiddos game like dancing, and running. All that stuff, just to break the ice I think.



Then it came to the real thing. We were divided into 4 big group, (is it 4?i didn’t remember.weee.XDD). they were mechanical engineering which happen to be my group, also the most happening and the coolest group in the camp.XDD, err..power group, and…accountant group maybe? I seriously couldn’t remember but there are few groups. My group consist of 18 people, we got Chinese, Indians, malays, and all boys. That actually made our group the coolest.XDD.

Why suddenly I felt so lazy to write about this thing. Maybe because theres too much to tell and I am too lazy to write. Damn it. Well. Lets see if I wanna talk more about it later on. For the time being let just conclude that it was a great fun camp and I have the coolest group ever.=)

I have a very weird dream today. Actually I dreamt a lot of things lately, from tsunami, flying in the air, being in a jungle and so many other weird but yet interesting dream! I like to dream! Its like taking me into another whole new world! Something you never see and experience but only in dreams. New faces, new places.
But sometimes there are few same characters in the dreams for example my friends, my family and stuff. Of course I am the hero of my dream and I always show up in every episodes most of the time, only in certain case where I was missing, totally lost in the dream and it was like I was just watching a movie of my mind. And sometimes I just show up from nowhere as another person! Dreams are great. Its like a test on how far your mind could go when you sleep.






People often said that when we are dreaming, our soul actually steps out from our body and travel to somewhere else. And that somewhere else might be a different world. Maybe you can see ghost, aliens and whatever freak creature in the universe, who knows?. I don’t know if the fact is true or not but sometimes it makes sense. But who cares anyway! As long as I have a good dream just take me where you want!


Today I dreamt about sovereign. It was a long dream and of course there were many events taken place in the dream but as usual, once you woke up you will remember nothing. But today I woke up from my bed AND I DID REMEMBER ONE PART OF THE DREAM!(in some situations I could remember the whole things but it was rare)
I remember that I was in a crowd of people, sovereignians I guess, and there was ainin!Sorry to put you into this dude but I certainly remember you. She was standing in front of me and handed me a cd, looked like the one the school gave to me.

And poooft another second I was at my home. I don’t know how or why I was just there. I checked the cd and yea,if it was in real life the cd should contain all the pictures of sovereignians. But in my dream the cd didn’t have all those pictures.


It has something else. It was a video and theres like each of the class have their own videos and it was compiled into one. They looked very happy and yea. there was a song!there was a song..but I just couldn’t remember it. Then the video came to a part where all my classmates were there. I saw everyone of them. We were like chasing each other, playing hide and seek. It was so happy and I was there. For sure.

Is this a sign that I miss my friends? I don’t now. Maybe I do.






From,
A Dreamer.

Its been a long time that since I stopped blogging.
Now I m back peoplehh!fuhhhh.(eventho it was like just one week maybe.lets just say it “very long”.XDD)
My brother went back to his college today and
I am still stuck here with desktop.
And you know what. I HATE WEARIING GLASSES!
Especially when I was playing the computer. I got a very wide screen and yeah..sure the image was going to be much clearer ofcourse but HELL I SEE NOTHING without my glass. I cant even read the words without it. Hell I can if I put my eyes like 2 inches from the screen then its gonna be fine. But who the hell gonna do that for 3 hours non-stop.
The problem is when I wear my glass for sometimes, my eyeballs hurt. So I need to take them off for like, 30 minutes maybe so my eyeballs can take a rest. And I hate it when my eyeballs hurt at the exact time when I start writing!
Urgghhh. I wish I had eaten so many carrots so my eyes can get better.
Lucky enough I don’t have to wear my glasses if in real life.
Just gonna used it for long distance view.

Its too much for me to eat ALL of it at one time. I am a normal human being and I do sucks sometimes. Maybe most of the times. I don’t know. But the thing is its completely normal to feel down just like what my friend told me. Well, we can be DOWN for a moment if that’s make us feel better by telling people about our problems and stuff but being DOWN too long is not good. You need to get your ass out of there man.




I got the SPM result and its not like what i have been dreaming so far. Its not really that bad but still, the mission is incomplete. I was grateful to God for giving me an excellent results but. Theres a ‘but’ there. I did admitted that I want more than just that. I am not being greedy but this one thing is very important to me. If I was about to be an engineer the least I could do secured my future is by getting my physic an “A+”. But it didn’t turned out to be that way. Instead I got “A+” for my chemistry.

What should I tell them when they asked me during the interview.

“You want to be a mechanical engineer but the result you show me means nothing of it. Can you explained that?”




This one mad question had been haunting my mind since I held the slip in my hand. Or should I just change my course. Naah. I love engineering. And most of all I love to create things. Sometimes I do wish that my chemistry somehow doing some private deal with physics about exchanging their result. It could be better but no way in Hell it would happen.




From this day on. I need to live knowing the fact that I am not qualified to be a good engineer, for my self. Maybe some people would say that its okay and they will understand about this and besides, its not so bad to get A for physics, its still a good result. But for me, I had failed. I should be taking my physics more seriously. Its like you were a cop you know. You were going on a mission to rescue some hostages which one them is THE PRESIDENT. So there you were, full suit with high tech weapons in the arm just like in the game counter strike. You were struggling with your friends and finally spot the hostages. You saved all of them and brought them to safety but you checked them. You were missing somebody. How possibly on earth you forgot to save THE PRESIDENT. Even though I saved a lot of lifes, I was to be blame on why I left the president behind and the whole world gonna see as nothing and yet a failure. A complete failure.



Lets stop bragging about this and get into the real thing. I should be finding scholarship for now. That’s my new mission and I couldn’t failed this one. Not again. Not this time. I am coming for you Mr. president.







Written from,
Guilty cop.